Clip Flakes,
At some point in the night I start to over identify with the power of feng shui. Since the bed is now in the Commanding position- for those of you wondering, *AHEM* the commanding position desires the bed be placed diagonal from the door and since the closet area would be my view if i placed the bed facing East, well I went with the North facing commando which overlooks the room and directly:the desk. Two melatonin later I'm tossing. I feel this Silver Cord- a term i derived from a book I read at 13 about a sister trying to connect with her dead twin or perhaps this helps: Ecclesiastes 12:6–7, “Before the silver cord is snapped … and the spirit returns to God who gave it.”- either way there I am, there's the silver chord of the desk and we my dear, are in Existential war. The entire night I am trying to figure out how else to place the bed, how else how else how else. Are these really the things we do? I get an email from my very first love telling me he didn't sleep. Although the reasons were completely other, and frankly he would have looked blankly at me if I'd told him:
NO shit, because I didn't sleep either! I was totally so connected to the energy between the alignment of my bed and my desk and it was so insane! are we soul mates?
as it turns out he didn't sleep planning a non-profit for social reform.
right. No Big Deal.
At seven I roll over and make a list of things to do. to get today. the sun is out and I feel as if I live in some sort of abandoned archaeological dig. To be sitting at Happy Trails coffee shop FIVE feet from my house next to a window that looks out to:____/^^^^\___/^^^**^^/*****________and so much of it already. I wonder:
If this place is extinct where am I here? The girl behind the counter reminds me of my college roommate. The guy with the finger web tattoo talking about breaking his shoulder while biking in the snow I'm pretty sure is Cheech in hiding and the two women taste each others Soy lattes and the one of them tells the other: I'm a rice milk fan, its richer in body even though people think soy is.
and they nod from under knit Tibetan? winter hats. Maggie last night sat in my room because she heard me quote Edward Said (i know) and call some systems of traditions in times of atrocity " devastating renditions of Oriental ism" and tells me that's why she lives in the mountains and I laugh with a hand on hers, " but in the mountains don't you see all the more we hide and snow shoe our way out of politics it binds us?" Can you imagine that people believe that the worries of the world, the Face of turmoil is only seen in the Cities? That things are Other. As if Lacan is the major of this beautiful place. She doesnt mean to hide, no one does it with malice or blame. We all just want to feel Safe. and in this room on the floor last night I believe we did. In just a few days I am really loving these kids. This house is for transients and Maggie is moving to Washington- she is a river guide- to me that was like someone saying they were a Shaman. You should have seen my reaction. I felt like I was in Avatar. and the other two are heading off to hike for 5/6 months. To hike babe. Me? I'm heading off to Blog for like 5/6 lifetimes. I guess at the end of the day we are all pretty hardcore. The act is like the photo of the Pinsetter. A job now obsolete but just too beautiful to forget. Here I go to hike to the hardware store. Extension cord/hangers/talk to me.
I love you.
Nailderland
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